How To Deal With The Stress Of A Wedding

From the heart of a wedding planner who's seen it all.

Certain events bring out certain aspects of our personality – that’s no surprise. But what can be a surprise is just how deeply wedding planning can rattle our sense of calm, control, and connection.

You may have started this journey with total joy, Pinterest boards overflowing with inspiration, and dreams of a love-filled day. Then suddenly… light blue napkins instead of Tiffany-blue with cream borders and custom monograms become the hill you’re willing to die on. Sound familiar?

Yep. It happens. Often to the most chilled-out people.

Whether it's the bride, groom, mother-in-law, or maid of honor – wedding stress can bring out our most reactive selves. For simplicity’s sake, society coined the term Bridezilla, but the truth is, anyone can slip into overwhelm when planning what’s often the biggest, most expensive, and emotionally loaded event of their lives.

So, as someone who’s walked hundreds of couples through this journey, I’m here to tell you: stress is normal, but it doesn’t have to steal your joy.

Here’s how to handle the pressure — and protect your relationship, sanity, and wedding day magic:

1. Expect Emotion – Then Normalize It

Weddings aren’t just parties. They’re powerful emotional milestones. You’re navigating family expectations, financial decisions, aesthetics, and a huge life transition all at once. Tears, tension, and testy moments? Totally normal. What matters is how you move through them.

Pro Tip: Name what’s happening. Instead of blaming yourself or your partner for “being dramatic,” say: “This is a big deal. It makes sense that we’re feeling overwhelmed.” Then breathe and find your way forward together.

2. Talk It Out – Honestly and Often

Communication is your greatest tool. Before diving into planning, sit down and talk about your vision, priorities, and boundaries. What matters most to you both? What are the non-negotiables vs. nice-to-haves?

Yes, this includes talking money. Budget tension is one of the top stressors. Getting on the same page early will save you countless headaches later.

Bonus tip: If one partner is more hands-on, check in regularly. Offer help, share the load, and most importantly — validate each other’s feelings.

3. Choose Peace Over Perfection

Perfection is a myth — especially in weddings. Something will go sideways (and I promise it won’t ruin the day unless you let it). Holding tightly to control often fuels stress and resentment. Choose flexibility. Choose perspective. Choose the love over the linens.

Because, truthfully? No one will remember the font on the place cards. But they’ll never forget how your wedding felt.

4. Take Breaks from Being “Engaged”

It’s easy to let wedding planning become your full-time job and entire personality. Don’t let it. You’re still partners, still individuals, still human.

Make space for dates that have nothing to do with the wedding. No Pinterest, no guest lists, no budget spreadsheets. Just connection. Just joy.

These “non-wedding” moments are what keep the relationship strong through the process.

5. Give Yourself and Others Grace

You might snap. Your partner might shut down. Your mom might call you during work about cake flavors. Deep breath. Grace over grievance.

Everyone is doing their best — even when it doesn’t look like it.

Lead with empathy, and when needed, give each other space to recalibrate. A little time apart from the wedding madness can help everyone come back calmer and clearer.

6. Remember What This Is All For

At the heart of this planning storm is something extraordinary: the commitment you’re making to one another.

Not just the wedding day, but the marriage — the life you’re building.

Let that be your anchor when things get intense. Return to that truth often. You’re not just planning an event — you’re celebrating a love story. Yours.

Final Thoughts from Your Wedding Planner

I’ve seen it all — meltdowns over menu fonts, tears over seating charts, surprise family drama, forgotten vows, and torrential rain forecasts. And guess what? The weddings were still beautiful. The love still shone through. The day still ended with laughter, dancing, and so much joy.

So take the pressure off. Lean into support. Let the imperfect be perfect enough.

And know that you’re doing great.

I’m always here to help you hold both the beauty and the chaos with grace. Because your wedding? It’s not just about the day — it’s about how you feel through the whole journey.

Let’s make that part magic, too. ✨