To tradition or to not tradition – that is the question! It can be such a hard decision to decide what traditions you want to include and what ones are not your vibe. But just remember, it is your day and your way! You can take on board as many or as few traditions as you want.

Some couples may choose to keep each and every one of the original wedding traditions from the first dance, wedding party, bouquet, garter toss, and so on. Whilst other couples maybe choose one or two that mean a lot to them that they want to include and scrap the rest! It’s completely up to you as a couple and what you feel comfortable with. And we get it – when mum is complaining you are not having a first dance or cake cutting, we know it can be super hard to broach that with close family – it’s a tough one!

But it all comes down to having an honest conversation. If you are forgoing some traditions or making certain decisions that go against the ‘norm’ it’s important to talk about it early on in the process so there is no awkwardness and everyone is on the same page. Here are a few ‘traditions’ we are finding are often excluded from the upcoming weddings we are planning…

Children at the Wedding
You may decide not to have children at the wedding at all meaning you won’t be having your niece and nephew as flower girl and page boy and that’s totally fine too. I suggest broaching the subject with the people involved early so there are no assumptions or expectations that their kids are coming from the get-go.

To be honest, a night without the kids to let my hair down is totally appreciated so I think the majority of parents will feel the same. Another way to include kids is they can attend the ceremony or pre-drinks but retreat with a babysitter to a holiday house or somewhere when the night really kicks off, meaning you get the best of both worlds.

Having Dad Accompany You Down The Aisle
Traditionally you would have a father figure walk you down the aisle and accompany you for that moment but we are finding more and more couples have different family situations or perhaps that is not the preferred option for you.

We have seen some really beautiful alternative traditions such as walking down the aisle with a grandfather, or dad and step-dad, dad and mum or brother. Or even your dearly loved pet!

Another suggestion is the first look with your partner sees you before the ceremony so you share an intimate moment together. You might even get ready together and walk down the aisle as a couple. Again, whatever your family dynamic, it comes down to what makes you the most comfortable on your special day.

First Dance or Father-Daughter Dance
Nowadays, does anybody actually know how to dance properly as a couple like in the olden days?
I find a lot of our couples feel super awkward or uncomfortable doing a first dance and many tell me ‘it’s so not us!’ Often people do this tradition to please their parents or maybe you genuinely are looking forward to this moment as a couple. Whatever the plan, there are a few options if you sit somewhere in between the two. Maybe you can slow dance for a little bit eg. 30 seconds and then your MC invites your wedding party up to join in, releasing you of the all-eyes-on-us moment you have been dreading but still appeasing those family members!

If you are planning to have a father-daughter dance, maybe you are wanting to enjoy the full length of the dance with your dad or another option is to have your partner join in halfway through with their mum and you all enjoy that moment together. Whatever works for you as a couple.

Speeches
When we are working out a run sheet with our couples, they often ask what the traditional order of speeches is and who is meant to speak first – my answer is anything goes now! We are finding more and more couples are choosing to mix it up and maybe have speeches at canape hour, not have any speeches, or keep them short and sweet.

Sure, there are normally key people that traditionally conduct a speech but I think it’s important to have people who are meaningful to you speak on the day.

Seating Plans
Seating charts can often be the most stressful part of planning a wedding for couples. Who will sit next to who, awkward family dynamics, and family members wanting the best seats can also be an issue to consider. Eeek!

You can throw the seating chart out the window and have a free for all if you want, or have guests allocated to a table but not a seat is another suggestion.

We often find there is no head/wedding table now so our wedding party sits within their guests, or we have seen our wedding couple have their own table, allowing the rest of the party to sit with their spouses, or maybe sit next to your parents instead rather than having a traditional parents table. Whatever works for you!

Anything goes and it’s ultimately your choice as a couple. Don’t feel boxed into old traditions to please other people. Go with your gut!